Wedding Vows and what they mean
Most of us have been to a wedding or two. Or have been part of a wedding, as in the bride or groom. I am a bride. A bride of 25 years. We never really think about those wedding vows we recited years ago until something comes up and you think well he did promise…
My little personal story…I was sick last week. Very sick. Pneumonia to be exact. My husband had to take me to the ER. I felt so guilty. It was Sunday and he was resting and watching football and now we were gonna spend the entire afternoon in the ER.
While sitting in waiting room I saw another couple come in. It was obvious the lady was sick, maybe even had dementia. The husband was leading her around by her arm and had to keep redirecting her attention. My first thought was; please don’t let that happen to me. I don’t want to be the person that someone has to take care of. I looked at my husband who is the picture of health and cried inside.
Of course being exhausted and not feeling good my mind immediately goes to that dark place. “He deserves someone younger, someone healthier, someone he is not going to have to take care of…” Yep a really dark place. I think I even told him out loud that I didn’t want to be taken care of.
So all of this brought me to the WEDDING VOWS
“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.”
To have and to hold ~
To have and to hold in marriage vows does not mean procession. It is a promise of unconditional acceptance. Read that again. Unconditional acceptance. I love that phrase. Unconditional. Acceptance. So without condition (terms, standards, etc) we have promised to accept our partner and promise to “have and hold them”
For better, for worse ~
For better, for worse means no matter what curve balls are thrown at you, you have promised each other that if things becomes hard you will stay and fight the good battle.
For richer, for poorer ~
Aw, one of my favorites. Do you have years where you are rolling in the dough? Taking great vacations? Shopping whenever you want? Then all of a sudden you barely have two nickels to rub together? Yea well I know how that feels. And unfortunately finances are one thing that can really tear a couple apart. It really is sad. It’s just money.
I used to want everything. I am not sure if it is because I grew up poor but once I had a little extra money I felt like I HAD to go buy something. I have gotten better and really wish sometimes my dear hubby would take over the finances because he is way better saving then I am.
But back to the vows; for richer, for poorer. It means don’t bail when one of the other loses a job or your spouse is a poor money manager, or your just flat broke and stressed. Figure it out together. Where there is a will, there is a way.
In sickness, and in health ~
This is the one that hit home with me this past weekend. As I laid in that ER and saw that old couple, I began to feel sorry for myself. I felt guilty. But the next day after praying about it most of the night, I remembered our wedding vows. And I know my husband cherishes our wedding vows as much as I do.
So in sickness, and in health; it doesn’t matter who is sick first or who declines quicker with old age. We are married and our vows state we are to take care of each other no matter what.
To love and to cherish, till death do us part ~
This is the ultimate promise. There is no divorce, no separation. When you get married and you honor your vows, then you are saying you will love this person and cherish this person (everything about them) until one of you passes on.
At our wedding, we read these vows. These traditional wedding vows. Wedding vows have been adapted over the years and some people even chose to write their own vows. However I think these main principles should be included in any vows. It is the foundation that you are building your marriage on. It is the promises that you are making to one another in the very beginning.
Check out my previous blog, 20 Questions to Ask your Spouse for a deeper connection.
As always, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you found something inspirational or informative. Join me daily (or almost daily) for every day life with me.