The 3 great loves
Marriage, Uncategorized

The 3 Great Loves of your Life: Things my momma told me

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The 3 great loves

I grew up with a momma who was so amazing. She always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better about a situation. She was full of great advice, witty comments, and kind words. I did not always listen to her but looking back I realize she was always right. One of the most amazing things she told me was about the 3 great loves of your life. I was so heartbroken, of course over a boy, and she told me not to worry. “He is not your 3rd love Jeanna Kay, so he is not the one.” So if you have ever experienced a heart break or just want to know about the myth of the 3 great loves keep reading…


The First Love

Your first love will happen when you are younger like 16-18 years of age. This person you will fall hard for and in your mind you will think he/she is the one. You will doddle his or her name in your notebook. You will envision your wedding and even pick out names for your kids. This relationship will last long. Most 1.5 – 3 years. You may even live with this person for a short while. Your family will be convinced that he/she is the one also because yall have been together for so long. BUT dear readers and romantics, things change. Around the age of 20-23 people change. It is inevitable. You and this person will start to grow apart when you realize that you have different dreams or want to do different things. 


This break up will come out of nowhere. You will think things are perfect and then BAM, you are in splitsville. Your heart will feel like it will never heal. But it will. I promise. And as you are healing you will look back at this relationship and pick it apart. Slowly you will come to the realization that this was not the one. But let me just throw a twist into the mix. This does not mean that this person will never be back in your life. He/she is just not your 3rd love. 

The Second Love

Your second love will be fast, hot, and end just as fast. This person will be your “rescuer”. Just as your heart is almost whole from the first love, this person will enter the picture. Initially you will think he/she was the one you were waiting for. Well dear romantics, just enjoy the ride. This will be a roller coaster you will never want to ride again. I will explain more later. 

The Third Love

Aw, the third love. What you have all been waiting for. Right now if you have gone through your first and second love, your heart is very hard. You have walls up and probably have decided love is not in the cards for you. You are probably thinking I will grow old with my best friend and have one night stands. You will meet your third love when you least expect it. You will be very leary and even try to avoid the whole thing all together. In the beginning you will friend zone the hell out of this person and deny any romantic feelings you have. But slowly your walls will start to crumble and your heart will softened. It may even take someone else to say, “Hey you guys belong together.” When you finally open your heart it will immediately fill will joy and all the bullshit you went through before will all be just a lesson that prepared you for your true love. 



You are probably thinking, what does she mean by the lessons. The lessons are what you take away from each love or what your learned about yourself. These lessons are what will stay with you and help you develop that great 3rd love. 

Love #1:

Your first love taught you how to love in a romantic way. It taught you about giving, compassion, communication, and compromise. When looking back in retrospect, you will realize it also taught you about boundaries. What are you willing to except and what is something you will never endure again. You will always love this person because they taught you so much about love, relationships and yourself. Initially after the big breakup you will hate this person because he/she was the one you thought was THE ONE.  But, once you get to your third love you will secretly thank this person for preparing you and helping you grow. 

Love #2:

Ok, the second love will be a bumpy ride as I said before. There will be some hard lines drawn through the sand. This is where you really learn about yourself. This relationship will teach you what kind of relationship you want to NEVER have and what you are looking for in a lifelong mate. You will come out of this relationship so much stronger, not afraid to say what you want and what you will never put up with. Between love #2 and love #3 will be a big growing phase for you. This is the time where you are selfish. The good kind of selfish. You will work on yourself and really start growing into the adult you want to be. 

Love #3:

The one! This person will teach you how to love romantically again. He/she will be gentle, kind, supportive, and do all the little things. Little things like opening doors, good morning calls, dedicate a song to you (this is very old school but relevant), will talk about yalls future together. They will want to meet your family and be part of every aspect of your life. Initially it will be overwhelming because let’s face it, you have not had this kind of love before. You will push away but that true love will hold on and teach you that it is ok to trust again. My dear readers, THAT is why love #3 is so amazing! He/she will be your best friend,  your cheerleader, your protector (not rescuer), your lover, and so much more. 


The Twist

So remember way up in the beginning of the post when I said love #1 may not always be out of your life…well my sweet momma said that your first love will always be part of your life. Metaphorically so to speak. You will always remember this person and even think about the things you learned or experienced. It has even been said that your first love sometimes will grow and go through all these stages and he/she will be your third love. Don’t get your hopes up or think that is the norm. It is not, but that is the myth. It is a possibility. 

My Love

My third love eventually became my husband. And romantics, my momma was so right! 25 years later and I am still so very grateful for all the things my heart endured to bring me to Scott. He is my best friend, my protector, my soul mate, my lover. He understands me more than anyone ever will and is the love of my life. 

The 3 Great Loves of your life

Check out this great blog from Health Spirit Body. It explains the 3 great loves as well. You can also follow this link for some of my past posts on marriage and love. 

Thank you

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today. I know it has been way too long since I posted. However, that is going to change. I forgot how therapeutic writing and blogging were. Amidst everything going on in this world we all need a little boost and good vibes. So check back for future posts or subscribe to my blog by clicking the link below and you will be notified when a new post is available. Until then dear readers…


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